What if more self-discipline doesn't always lead to better impact?
A reoccurring theme with many of my clients these days is: “I need more self-discipline. More structure. A stricter regimen.”
All that, the thinking goes, moves us closer to our goals. And so it may be. 𝒜𝓃𝒹, I would suggest, discipline can emerge from the place we least expect: ease.
Here’s a little story of an ultra-marathon runner I’ve long admired. Like any high-performing athlete, he had a strenuous training protocol, sophisticated wearable tech and science-backed nutrition plans. Everything geared towards optimisation and small gains every day.
One day, he decided to experiment with something that went against the grain. He went on what I would call ‘a happy run’. Replacing the music in the headphones with listening to the birds. Rather than checking his watch, tuning into his heart beat; and relishing the heat his body was creating. Paying attention to the contact with the earth and drawing energy from it.
And here comes the kicker: at the end of this most unusual run, he checked his watch only to realise his time was still close to his personal best. Ease had not slowed him down; it had propelled him forward. That single experience changed his running for good.
Now, my point is not that discipline is bad and ease is good. Rather, I am proposing that where there is purpose, spaciousness and enjoyment, discipline arises less as rule-based drudgery and more as commitment to ourselves. The way that athlete defines running now is “𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐞𝐱𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.”
So my little offering today is: “𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐢𝐧 𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟?”
When we are more easeful within ourselves, it also changes how we show up for others.
As the wonderful Nancy Kline puts it, “ease allows the human mind to broaden and reach. Ease sidesteps knots, disperses crises and like a lever lifts the cargo with the tip of a finger.”
